Ace crocodile hunter Mick Dundee becomes disoriented and does some pretty silly things whenever he leaves the Australian Outback. In Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, he mistakes a skunk for a dog, tries to kill a fake snake with his monster knife, and causes chaos on a movie set. Laugh? Like the kiddies say, I thought I’d never start. This fish-out-of-water character, introduced to the world by Paul Hogan in 1986, is no longer funny. In fact, if I were Australian, I might feel embarrassed by him today.

Here’s why. Dundee (Hogan) doesn’t even know who Mel Gibson is. He watches television with his son (Serge Cockburn), has a live-in lover and partner (Linda Kozlowski again) who works for a major news organization, and conducts tours for vacationers from all over the world. Yet he thinks people at a Hollywood party are asking him about Mal Gibson, an acquaintance back home, so he regales the awed guests with outrageous stories about that Gibson. I firmly believe only an Australian in a coma for the past fifteen years would be oblivious to the fame of Dundee’s Oscar-winning fellow countryman. (Okay, I know Mel Gibson was born in the U.S., but he moved to Oz at an early age.)

In another scene, Dundee tells his buddy (Alec Wilson) a farfetched story explaining how America uses passport pictures at crosswalks to keep track of traffic violators from another country. I cringed at the sight of that big, burly Aussie proving himself as mentally challenged as Dundee by swallowing this ridiculous lecture. Do these filmmakers have no shame?

Oh sure, they endow their hero with some admirable traits. Dundee willingly travels to the City of Angels to be with Kozlowski on her temporary assignment there. He helps her investigate a movie smuggling scam. He teaches their son how to survive in the Outback and does his best to take care of the youngster while in the big city. He’s good-humored and loyal. But all this pales in significance to the insulting depiction of Dundee’s stupidity in an urban environment.

Inconsistencies regarding Dundee’s skill with animals also troubled me a lot. Here’s a man who stops a ferocious lion or wild boar in its tracks with just eye contact and a pointing finger, but he doesn’t know anything about skunks. And he can’t tell an amusement park python from a real one. Sheesh!

I found the original Crocodile Dundee fresh and lively. I still smile when remembering how Mick frightened a mugger by pulling out his huge weapon and warning him, "That’s not a knife. This is a knife." The first sequel wasn’t too bad either. But that was over twelve years ago. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, the world has become much smaller since then. People in all kinds of rustic settings, probably even in Dundee’s own Wallkabout Creek, belong to the "global village" and are much more sophisticated now.

Isn’t it about time for the outdated Crocodile Dundee to retire?

(Released by Paramount Pictures and rated "PG" for some language and brief violence.)