After seeing From Justin to Kelly, here's what I want to know: did the filmmakers realize they were making a bad movie? Imagine you're the the one putting this flick together -- and just look at the circumstances. You're making a movie for the American Idol crowd, which, as you should know, covers a very broad demographic, but unfortunately you're being told  to target only the teenage girl crowd -- often coldly seen by marketers as shallow and materialistic. Automatically, this means you'll be working with a script that caters to youthful shallowness. The plot is supposed to be light and funny, but it obviously contains no substantive weight -- as a result, the story is silly and disposable. Finally, it's supposed to be a musical, which, as anyone knows, runs the risk of being laughable if it isn't being handled by professionals with vision. Could a movie like this ever end up being good?

Embarking on a such a venture requires a solid grasp of perspective in order to understand the nature of the beast  being tamed. First, know your potential audience -- yes, American Idol is one of the cheesiest television shows to emerge in recent years, but it's a very popular cheesy show. America, in all its varieties of race, sex, class, and age, embraced a series that ultimately was not just about waiting to hear what searing put-down Simon Cowell, one of the show's judges, would come up with next. We truly believed Tamyra Gray was unfairly voted off the show before Nikki McKibbin; we dished about the potential of Kelly Clarkson; we argued over who we preferred, Ruben Studdard or Clay Aiken. So why assume the worst of your audience? Why assemble a movie that the majority of American Idol's audience would be embarrassed to go see? Why take the lazy way out?

The filmmakers came up with a wrong-headed concept from the start: create a musical on the beach where American Idol first season finalists, Justin Guarini and the aforementioned Clarkson, fall in love. Honestly now, raise your hand if you watched that first season and thought to yourself, "Yeah, Justin and Kelly... now they would a make good couple!" Brrrr! Anyone watching the shows could see how the contestants form bonds of friendship closer in spirit to brother-and-sisterhood, and now they're forcing two of them to kiss? And basing a whole movie around that idea?

For now, let's get past the movie's conception and see how the execution turned out. Sure enough, it's bad. The plot is ridiculous. Kelly and her two Texas friends fly to Miami for spring break, where they run into Justin and his friends. Kelly's bimboesque friend Alexa (Katherine Bailess) finds Justin hot, but Justin is smitten by Kelly. Justin runs into Kelly later and actually gets her cell phone number, but then loses it; he then finds Alexa and asks her for Kelly's number, but the scheming Alexa gives him her own number instead. Justin proceeds to send text messages to whom he thinks is Kelly -- these are intercepted by Alexa, who sends back misleading info for the purpose of keeping Justin and Kelly apart.

That's right -- the entire plot centers around text messaging. That Alexa sure is smart; she knew Justin would only try text messaging to reach Kelly. Justin, meanwhile, is confused by why Kelly says she'll meet him in one place and then all of a sudden cancels on him later. Why doesn't he just call her? I'll say no more about the plot and leave it at that.

The next thing you know, we're given a bunch of dumb side characters and their dumb side-plots. Kelly's other friend falls for a working-class Cuban waiter. One of Justin's friends is a party promoter who hands out flyers for whipped cream bikini contests, and because he either wrecks things accidentally or forgets to get a permit, he always gets in trouble with the same female patrol officer (ha ha). Justin's other friend is a dork (with glasses, naturally) who is looking for a girl he met on the internet; he can't find her all movie long, so he spends his time getting burned while tanning and counseling a jock on how to be more sensitive to his girlfriend's needs. OK, I'll say no more about the side characters and leave it at that.

Now we have the musical numbers. Most of them are of the bland, MTV-flavored pop variety. They are shot like spiritless music videos, in which a lot of people dance but you don't feel any energy coming off the screen. Maybe it's because the songs are so unmemorable -- there were no catchy lyrics and no catchy tunes. The morning after seeing the movie, I can't remember a single stuck-in-my-head melody from the movie, and that's a bad sign for a musical. OK, there was one song that sounded oddly dissonant, and I can kind of remember that one, but I'm not sure if I want to, since it was performed by Alexa and felt entirely purposeless. Worst of all, the movie chooses to finish up with a lifeless cover of K.C. and the Sunshine Band's "That's the Way I Like It." Bad enough they can't handle their own songs; they have to wreck other people's songs, too.

Kelly Clarkson could have been the movie's saving grace. She not only sings Justin right off the screen, she has a great, heretofore unexploited personality. Clarkson is down-to-earth and her character -- surely not far in proximity to her real persona -- doesn't buy into the shallow body-obsessed culture promoted by today's youth market. She expresses indignation at things like bikini contests, yet everyone around her is asking her to loosen up and have fun. No, Kelly! Don't do that! Clarkson might be the only bastion of substance in this place! She is the antithesis of a vapid spring break party drone, and ought to be respected as such. Surely she is capable of having fun, but not in this dreadful manner -- not when they force her to kiss Justin and wear a skirt made of neckties.

I could go on. I haven't even mentioned the Justin hair jokes (which are actually funny and bring a little, but not nearly enough, self-awareness to the movie), or the hovercraft contest, or -- no, I'll say no more and leave it at that.

(Released by 20th Century Fox and rated "PG" for thematic elements, sensuality and brief language.)

Review also posted at www.windowtothemovies.com.