If you'll bear with me, I'd like to share some things that crossed my mind while watching The Real Cancun, a documentary representing Hollywood's first attempt to cash in on TV's "reality" craze.

-- I've never seen a movie rated R for "partying" before.

-- Hm. My Nerd rope candy is more interesting than this film.

-- Partying, sex, wet T-shirt contests . . . and how is this not different from "Girls Gone Wild"? 

-- No one in Cancun ever gets hangovers.

-- Reality filmmaking?  Yeah, like 16 men and women have trips paid for them by a documentary crew on a regular basis. 

-- Apparently, anyone who signs up to do a movie about spring break must agree to let night vision cameras peer in on them having sex with people they’ve known for two days.

--Forget The Ring…The “hot bod” scene here is much scarier. 

-- Do the producers of “The Real World” have no shame at all?

-- Why didn't New Line include a Freddy Vs. Jason trailer to ease the pain?

-- Universal has a movie just like this waiting for release. Oh, the humanity.

-- I didn't realize that after only one drink, someone could go from alcoholic abstinence to doing body shots and screaming, “I want hooters!” in just a couple of days.

-- Movies about month-old "reality stuff" don’t turn out so well.

-- What a message! You can't be cool unless you constantly down tequila shots and make out with everything in sight.

-- My candy's gone. Bummer. Now I'll have to watch the rest of the movie.

MY RATING: * ½ (out of ****)

(Released by New Line Cinema and rated "R" for strong sexuality/nudity, language and, yes, partying.) 

Review also posted at www.ajhakari.com.