Before starting this review of Final Destination 5, I looked around the room to make sure nothing was coming loose from any movie photos hanging on the walls. I also checked under my desk to see if all the electrical cords are okay. But hold on a minute -- I need to find out if that fan on the table across from my computer is in working order. It will only take a minute . . . OUCH! Oh well. Guess I only need one pinky finger. Yikes! I hate all this blood dripping over my keyboard. Excuse me again while I get some bandages.

That’s better. Now where was I? Ah, yes -- writing a review of Final Destination 5. Let’s start by admitting how amazed I am at the way each film of this franchise has managed to hold my interest in spite of the same plotline -- someone envisions a disaster before it happens, thereby saving a few individuals who later meet their deaths in the most gory, horrifying manner. I know what to expect but can’t help being fascinated by the opening disaster scenes (an airplane exploding, a massive highway accident, an amusement park tragedy, a deadly race-car catastrophe, a suspension bridge crumbling) and those gruesome but highly inventive death sequences, which force me to worry about such relatively innocent things as pigeons, microwaves, spaghetti, nail guns, beauty parlors and movie theaters. After seeing FD5, I must add new worries -- like busses, acupuncture, gymnastics and eye surgery -- to that list.                     

This latest outing also offers an unpleasant new twist concerning how survivors might be able to stay alive. Plus it boasts an ironic ending and some of the best visual effects ever, especially the bridge-crumbling sequence at the beginning of the film. Both of these elements help elevate movie number five above the rest. And, as usual, we squirm in our seats as we keep expecting something terrible to happen. Then when it finally does, each victim faces a death more horrifying than we could have imagined, proving once again that “You can’t cheat Death.”

With a theme like this, who needs A-list stars? Cast members Nicolas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, Miles Fisher, Ellen Wroe , P.J. Byrne, Jacqueline MacInnes  Wood, Arlen Escarpeta, David Koechner, Courtney B. Vance, and Tony Todd rise to the occasion.  D’Agosto and Fisher have the most challenging roles as the guy with the premonition about the bridge disaster and his friend who reacts unexpectedly to what's happening, respectively. Fortunately, Byrne and Koechner add a bit of humor to the proceedings, but not enough to dampen the horror atmosphere.

Speaking of “horror atmosphere,” my blood-soaked keyboard feels too sticky now. Gotta get something to clean it up with. Be right back... 

CRASH & GROANS

Don't worry. I'm okay. Just wanted to leave you with a reminder to watch out for everything.

(Released by New Line Cinema and rated “R” for strong violent/gruesome accidents and some language.)

For more information about Final Destination 5, please go to the Rotten Tomatoes or Internet Movie Data Base website.