Come gather round, children, it is cinematic confession time. I love me some old-school kung fu films. I love them for being so riddled with clichés and candy coated cornball enthusiasm and extreme violence and general goofiness. Films like The Five Deadly Venoms, Shogun Assassin, and The 36th Chamber of Shaolin are just a few examples of the smattering of kung fu cinema I celebrate on an almost daily level. When I first heard that master martial arts choreographer Yuen Woo-ping (The Matrix and Kill Bill) was bringing back the glory of logic-defying martial arts leaps circa 1970 into the realm of modern filmmaking, my enthusiasm for the historical epic True Legend grew. Would this be the noodle-infused cinema of my youth? A true return to the saturation of cheese that once was a singular aspect of kung fu?  Or would it simply be a bloated mistake leaving viewers with bad gas?

So I waited. I heard the news that it was a 3D disappointment in its originating home and still I waited.

Friends, I am here to tell you True Legend is every bit the return of the kick-ass Asian cinema that placated our youth Saturday afternoons. It’s corny, completely over-the-top, and viscous in nature. It’s also a lot of drunken-master-flavored fun. Visually assertive, True Legend returns to kung fu’s roots and delivers a picture worthy of praise and of your time…if you are fortunate to live in or around a big city.

The sage begins with a wicked battle between two opposing forces.  High in the mountains, the battle is waged to rescue a prince and restore order to the ancient lands below. The hero of the battle, General Su Can (Vincent Zhao), is rewarded for his bravery -- much to the dismay of his soon-to-be brother-in-law, Yuan Lie (Andy On).  Lie whisks himself away and studies a very dark art of kung fu -- The Five Venom Fists. One day, after Su has himself a family with Ying (Zhou Xun), Yuan's sister, Lie returns to take revenge and Su, ultimately, comes face-to-face with an opponent who  threatens to shake the foundations of his own family, his sanity, and his soul.

I realize that’s an oversimplified summary, and it certainly doesn’t do the breadth of the film justice because this gnarly beast -- written by To Chi-long -- is epic in scope. It’s finale -- dealing more with the effects of colonization than myth -- covers the reality that the middle part of the picture -- Su’s healing with Wu Shu God (Jay Chou) and an old sage (also Jay Chou) -- completely (and rather successfully) avoids.  Guest starring Michelle Yeoh and David Carradine (in his final performance), True Legend also honors its past heroes with roles that inspire a bit of nostalgia while bringing a tear to the eyes of all those who love the genre.

The fights are hardcore with great wire work and gravity-defying summersaults every bit as old-fashioned as the film promised. The quick-cuts edits are legendary and quite in-line with the look of the era the film harkens back to. True Legend is an experience for lovers of this genre -- maybe not for everybody -- but it does offer a bit of candy for most…as long as you can roll with the punches and high-flying kicks of a movie that catapults its audience back into the martial arts antics of 1975.

(Released by Indomina Releasing and rated “R” for sequences of battle violence and brutal fighting.)

Review also posted at www.franksreelreviews.com.