Horror history was made in 2005 when the Showtime channel broadcast the first season of Masters of Horror, an anthology series whose episodes were directed by the cream of the horror crop. Barring one or two so-so stories, this debut season turned out a number of terrifying tales, in some cases showing their makers at their best point in years. With bated breath, I  anticipated season two of the series, hoping it would not only bring back a handful of returning directors for one more go but also introduce some fresh faces as well. Sadly, this wholly mediocre sophomore batch of episodes is a crushing disappointment.

The thirteen mini-movies this time around are:

The Black Cat. Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator) takes a break from the world of H.P. Lovecraft to deliver this freaky portrait of Edgar Allen Poe (Jeffrey Combs), who contends with not only a dying wife and a drinking problem but also a sinister feline that doesn't  want to die.

The Damned Thing. Years after his father's brutal murder, a troubled sheriff (Sean Patrick Flanery) goes up against the monstrous force responsible in this episode from returning director Tobe Hooper (Poltergeist, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre).

Dream Cruise. Japanese director Norio Tsuruta (Ringu 0) brings viewers this tale of an American lawyer (Daniel Gillies) who gets caught in the middle of a ghost's quest for vengeance while on a client's boat.

Family. An American Werewolf in London helmer John Landis returns for a second go-around with this terrifyingly funny episode, revolving around a suburban bachelor (George Wendt) who goes to horrifying lengths to bring his twisted version of a family to life.

Pelts. Italian genre master Dario Argento (Phenomena, Opera) once again tests his viewers' collective gag reflex with this gore-soaked tale of a fur trader (Meat Loaf) who comes upon a gorgeous raccoon coat that turns those who encounter it into homicidal, self-mutilating maniacs.

Pro-Life. Horror legend John Carpenter reunites with the writers of his first season episode to deliver this spooky slice of satire, about a teenaged girl (Caitlin Wachs) convinced that the child growing inside her is a literal demon spawn.

Right To Die. Newcomer Rob Schmidt (Wrong Turn) helms this creepy and controversial story of a dentist (Martin Donovan) whose wife enters a coma after nearly burning to death in a car accident -- leaving her restless spirit to wreak murderous vengeance.

The Screwfly Solution. In this dark disease thriller from returning director Joe Dante (Gremlins, The Howling), a pair of scientists (Jason Priestley and Elliott Gould) race to find a cure to an infectious strain that's turning aroused men into enraged killers.

Sounds Like. A tech support center supervisor (Chris Bauer) is slowly driven mad by a highly increased sense of hearing in this episode from series newbie Brad Anderson (The Machinist, Session 9).

The V Word. In this tale from newcomer Ernest Dickerson (Bones), two kids (Arjay Smith and Branden Nadon) learn the hard way that vampires do indeed exist after sneaking into a mortuary after hours.

Valerie on the Stairs. Mick Garris, the show's creator and director of such Stephen King adaptations as Riding the Bullet and the TV version of The Shining, brings to life this Clive Barker tale of a man (Tyron Leitso) who encounters a ghostly young woman in a boarding house for unpublished writers.

The Washingtonians. Peter Medak (The Changeling) rewrites history with this gory tale of a man (Johnathan Schaech) who finds a letter that may blow the lid on George Washington's past -- as a bloodthirsty cannibal.

We All Scream for Ice Cream. From Tom Holland, the man behind Fright Night and the original Child's Play, comes this gruesome ghost story about a demonic ice cream man (William Forsythe) who returns from the grave to exact revenge on the grown-ups who killed him when they were kids.

On the whole, season two doesn't improve a bit on season one. However, series creator Garris deserves credit for trying to mix things up with a more varied assortment of scripts -- even if the stories themselves tend to be flaky, unoriginal, and just plain boring. In some cases, the term Master of Horror is really stretched; Schmidt's Wrong Turn was a decent enough flick, but I'd hardly call him a master of his domain (the same goes for Dickerson).

As for the episodes themselves, there's definitely a bigger abundance of "meh" installments here as opposed to the prior season. John Landis directed last season's worst episode, Deer Woman, but his Family is the unabashed victor this time around, an absolute riot that combines dark comedy and bloodshed into one entertaining package. The Black Cat, Right To Die, and Pro-Life are solid enough, but the rest  the episodes range from "bearable" to "please end my misery." Pelts and The Washingtonians are gory for the sake of being gory. Sounds Like feels like a Twilight Zone rehash; The Screwfly Solution is ambitious but way too short; The Damned Thing eventually paints itself into a corner; and Dream Cruise actually cheats the show's "one hour or less" format by clocking in at over 84 minutes. Valerie on the Stairs listlessly moves its way toward a laughably confusing finish, and despite William Forsythe's surprisingly effective performance in We All Scream for Ice Cream, the episode comes across as cheesy and flat-out not scary (characters die by melting into ice cream). The V Word emerges as the lamest of the bunch: it's a vampiric tale with no bite and features people wandering around in the dark for the first 30 minutes, then wheezing for the last 30. 

I hear the future of Masters of Horror may be in limbo, but despite the absence of many really scary stories from season two, I'm still looking forward to what Garris and company serve up next. In fact,  viewers hoping to jump into the series might consider adding Showtime to their cable bill, for it's better to gamble on an episode showing on relatively free TV than to count on a $4 shot in the dark by renting one from the video store.

(Photo: Adam Hakari)