The arts are in trouble judging by this bland "reinvention" of the popular 1980 film about a gaggle of students at New York City's High School for the Performing Arts. Fame 2009 is the cinematic equivalent of Muzak and will leave many viewers longing for the next episode of  TV's Glee.

The kids being showcased might live forever -- fulfilling the dream Irene Cara so achingly expressed in the original's title song -- but they'll do so honing their craft at Six Flags or on a cruise ship. Not that there's anything wrong with that, especially in these difficult economic times, but moviegoers have the right to expect a lot more. Although no one in the ensemble stands out, the fault lies mostly with the behind-the-camera talent. Director Kevin Tancharoen's claim to fame was choreographing routines for Britney Spears and directing her worldwide "Onyx Hotel" tour at the age of nineteen. That was approximately six years ago and this, his first feature film (or rather collage), may be his last.

Particularly in the opening half hour when we're introduced to the students and their teachers, Fame is a jump-cutting blur. Thereafter, it's a conflict-free series of set pieces (the cafeteria jam, Halloween "carnevil" and the graduation revue) that fizzle rather than pop. The filmmakers incorporate rap, hip-hop and techno music while leaving out the joy and the energy. The dull yellow tones of the film stock are meant to evoke the dingy rehearsal spaces, backstage areas, and communal dressing areas these actors, dancers and musicians will have to get used to, but it also serves to drain the excitement. As far as New York City being an electric, hard-knocks backdrop, they might as well be trodding the boards and tickling the ivories in Peoria.

The slim narrative, whereby we follow the callow teens from the day they audition for a spot at the elite school through to graduation, doesn't lend itself to depth, even of the melodramatic variety. Yet there's little evidence in this patchwork script that writer Allison Burnett had the inclination to find a sliver of originality in her characters. Marco (Asher Book) is the happy-go-lucky tenor who brings classmate Jenny (Kay Panabaker) out of her shell. They couple up and hit a rocky patch when she falls for one of the oldest tricks in the book, an "audition" in a creepy actor's on-set trailer. Kelsey Grammer, in sour Crane mode but sporting a collection of ugly sweater vests that would nauseate Frasier, encourages classical pianist Denise (Naturi Naughton) to branch out and have some fun. She does so, angering her parents, and gets to belt out the movie's most soulful numbers, though the transition from pink Lacoste sweater to glitter-and-black-leather isn't terribly convincing. 

Malik (Collins Pennie) is a wannabe rapper who, according to his earnest drama professor (Charles S. Dutton, saddled with the corniest canned speeches) can't be honest with his audience until he's honest with himself. Joy (Anna Marie Perez de Tagle) is hired to act on "Sesame Street" and neglects her studies, while the romance between WASPY dancer Alice (Kherington Payne) and Victor (Walter Perez) is sacrificed on her career altar, the smell of racial incense discernible. After his ballet teacher (Bebe Neuwirth) tells him he won't make it as a professional ballet dancer, Kevin (Paul McGill) is naturally distraught. And the final brush with the real-world harshness occurs when the next Scorsese, Neil (Paul Iacono), jumps at the chance to direct an independent film and gets scammed. 

In a world where American Idol thrusts the talented and the talent-less down our throats -- where dancing politicos like Tom Delay are beamed into our living rooms -- it was never going to be easy to convince a new generation about the central message of Fame. Playing the school's principal, Debbie Allen (dance teacher in the original) warns first-years that to make a living as a singer, hoofer or musician, let alone to become a star, requires huge amounts of discipline and hard work. The quality of Fame redux is likely to discourage teens from pursuing their performing arts dreams however. Don't be surprised if enrollment in vocational and trade schools spikes following its release. 

(Released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer and rated "PG" for thematic material including teen drinking, a sexual situation and language.)