Charles Dickens is probably rolling over in his grave right now, his classic A Christmas Carol having just been ripped off to not-so-romantic and not-so-comedic effect in The Ghost of Girlfriends Past. To be fair, it’s not that the film lacks anything funny or romantic. It has its moments. The problem? No character is likeable -- save for perhaps one -- and we never care about what happens to any of them… a death knell to a film like this, which depends on the audience finding an attraction between the two main characters.

One of the main characters is Connor Mead (Matthew McConaughey), a brash New York fashion photographer and caddish ladies man who drives to New England to attend the wedding of his younger brother (Breckin Meyer).  The eternal bachelor who doesn’t believe in love or anything it stands for, Connor immediately tries to persuade his brother to cancel the wedding. At the rehearsal dinner, he even gives a drunken anti-marriage speech in which he says, “Love is a magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated.”

The only person not completely offended is the other main character, bridesmaid Jenny Perotti (Jennifer Garner) his childhood sweetheart, who knows there’s a kind, benevolent soul somewhere within Connor’s calloused exterior. We certainly don’t see it up to this point, but in any case, we learn that Connor’s attitudes about women and his playa’ lifestyle are destined to change once he meets the ghost of his dead uncle Wayne (a refreshingly delightful Michael Douglas), who informs Connor he will be visited by a succession of ghosts representing his romantic past, present, and future. In other words, here’s the predictable part we’ve already seen in the trailers where McConaughey’s character sees all the wrongs of his past and begins the transformation from miserable cad to loveable hero. Unfortunately, we never believe anyone could be so boorishly hateful in the first place, so McConaughey comes off as some kind of confusing mélange of his character’s hatefulness and the actor’s amiability. He attempts to play a mean guy, but he’s not convincing enough to make us believe in the transformation… nor do we care.

We’re not able to muster up much sympathy for any of the female characters in the film either. Most are portrayed as slutty, hateful, ditzy or shallow. Because the film is an unabashed chick flick, they’d certainly be better served as heroes we could root for. The exception being spirit #1, Allison Vandermeersh (Emma Stone), a braces-wearing, frizzy-haired teenager to whom Connor lost his virginity back in the ‘80s. She adds a much-needed sprightliness to the film as she rolls Connor back through his youth and reminds him how badly he was crushed when Jenny ditched him at a junior high prom.

Connor’s ghost of girlfriends present is his personal assistant Melanie (Noureen DeWulf), who’s neither a ghost nor his girlfriend. The only consistent relationship Connor has with a female, Melanie takes the bachelor behind the scenes of some New York City apartments to see what really happens on the other end of the phone after he says goodbye. And getting even more bizarre is his ghost of girlfriends future played by Olga Maliouk, an ethereal beauty who shows Connor what his life will look like if he continues to reject real love.

Ghost of Girlfriends Past is directed by Mark Waters and written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, all of the rom-com, chick-flick ilk. With enough decent films amongst them (Mean Girls, Just Like Heaven), it’s not a stretch for us to think this film could have been better. But the story simply doesn’t have much energy or originality, and the characters are too shallow and trifling for us to care. McConaughey has some bright spots -- especially in the slapstick bit involving a wedding cake -- but he isn’t strong enough to carry the film.

No doubt Dickens is embarrassed right now. Still, even he might find himself entertained while watching Michael Douglas portray Jacob Marley with a twist of Hugh Hefner and Robert Evans.

(Released by Sony Pictures Entertainment and rated “PG-13” for sexual content throughout, some language and a drug reference.)

Review also posted at www.franksreelreviews.com .