Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is probably the yuckiest movie title in the last decade. It's not even a wholly accurate name -- the word "ballistic" is appropriate due to the film's high firearms usage, but the Ecks vs. Sever portion is misleading. It refers to the two main characters: an ex-government agent named Jeremiah Ecks (Antonio Banderas) and a rogue agent named Sever (Lucy Liu). Going by the title and the film's trailer -- which features numerous explosions, fighting, and weapons -- you'd think the show was promising to be about a contest of one-upmanship. "Ecks vs. Sever! Watch these two agents go head-to-head!"

But they don't spend much time doing that. For the first half of the movie, Ecks chases Sever, and when he catches up to her, she kicks his butt. A better title would have been Ballistic: Ecks Gets Beaten Up by Sever. But even then, it wouldn't be an entirely truthful name. Halfway through the movie, they stop fighting each other and team up against a common foe. So how about Ballistic: Ecks Gets Beaten Up by Sever, Then Joins Forces with Sever?

An accurate title could be important for this movie because it  would eliminate any need for a plot synopsis. Ballistic exists solely for its set pieces -- chases, explosions, shootouts, martial arts fights, explosions, a final showdown, and explosions. Plot need not apply. Therefore, it's sad to see a plot trying futilely -- by mumbled dialogue and corny characterizations -- to exert itself through the explosions. I actually think the movie would have been pretty good without any attempt to tell a story at all. It might have turned Ballistic into a surreal and, perhaps, oddly artistic symphony of slow-motion action and explosions. As a commentary on stylized violence in the era of John Woo movies and The Matrix, its point would have been that it has no point. How beautiful this would have been -- Ballistic: Action for Action's Sake. 

As it is, the attempt at a story only serves to magnify illogical elements. For instance, what makes the bad guy (Gregg Henry) tick? He has no apparent motives for being evil. Why doesn't the face of the kidnapped child reflect his supposed ethnicity? Why do we have no idea how physically dangerous Ray Park's character is until the end of the movie? Best of all, how did Agent Ecks earn his reputation? Early on, his old boss comes up to him and asks him to do a job for him because "you're my only option." Why? Is Ecks a great agent? It sure doesn't seem like it -- judging from the amount of time he spends flat on his back.

I have to hand it to Banderas, though. He's the only guy who can get beat up over and over and still exude ultra-coolness in the next scene. I imagine he has this smooth and cool act so well-honed he could sell it to producers in a bottle. That's pretty much what he did for this movie. When the casting agents dropped off the script, he probably realized it didn't deserve much of his effort, so he just opened up a cabinet and handed them Banderas-in-a-Bottle.

I feel compelled to add, however, that all this lack of logic actually made the movie kind of enjoyable. I was in a bad mood before walking in the theater, but by the time the show ended I was laughing pretty hard just thinking about how the movie made no sense while it was trying to be so serious.  Perhaps, in that spirit, the title Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is just right -- it's goofy and off-target, which is a perfect description for the movie itself.

(Review also posted at http://www.windowtothemovies.com)

Released by Franchise Pictures and rated "R" for strong violence.