Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed belongs to that most intriguing of film genres, the documentary. By dictionary definition, a documentary is "a film or TV program presenting the facts about a person or event." Although not agreeing with what some of these movies have to say, you might admire their overall presentation instead. But there's nothing admirable about Expelled. A sloppy excuse for filmmaking, it's more an anti-documentary providing neither facts nor any semblance of a valid argument. 

From the start, Expelled ignites a fire of controversy. It concerns one of the most touchy topics of our times: the validity of intelligent design as a scientific theory. However, don't expect a heated debate between those in this camp and those who adhere to Charles Darwin's theory of evolution. Expelled belongs to the former group, setting out on a mission to show that the scientific community should equally embrace intelligent design. Heading up this daring expedition is a rather unlikely figurehead: Ben Stein, of Ferris Bueller's Day Off fame, who jet-sets across the globe to interview those shunned for their beliefs. The portrait the film paints of those scientists who believe in Darwin's findings is a dark one indeed, that of academic bullies ready to suppress any dissenting opinions. But Stein and company aren't going down without a fight, determined to stick to their guns and prove that intelligent design holds up just fine in the world of science.

What's the problem? Well, Expelled never gets around to accomplishing its goal. In not a single one of its 97 minutes does the film provide a valid argument about why intelligent design should be accepted. Instead, Expelled spends its time depicting those who oppose it as being part of an atheistic conspiracy to rid the world of all religious thoughts. This movie discusses Darwinists the same way that Ann Coulter refers to liberals, as if they all travel in packs just waiting to pounce on and discredit anyone who disagrees with them. The entire film is virtually one story after another about how the big, bad scientific community is out to put the kibosh on anyone in the academic world who dares even mention intelligent design. But Expelled does nothing to counter its subject's detractors, instead the documentary tries to win its argument not by being right but by making the competition look as bad as possible.

It doesn't help that the pro-Darwin individuals the filmmakers do pick to talk with are so obviously antagonistic. I have no doubt there are those a little too trigger-happy when it comes to shooting down intelligent design as well as people who aren't willing to give it even a little consideration. But these people are the only ones Expelled talks to. Using figures like Richard Dawkins to represent the entire scientific community is like saying Charles Manson is representative of all Californians.

Watching Expelled, I was constantly nagged by the feeling the entire story was not being told. This sneaking suspicion became further enflamed by those portions of the film making almost cartoonish claims, such as linking Darwin's theories to eugenics and even the Holocaust. Such statements aren't just outlandish, they're flat-out unsubstantiated, another part of the film's habit of making harsh generalizations and having absolutely nothing to back them up.

Believe it or not, my own personal beliefs had nothing to do with my judgment of Expelled. I believe in evolution, but I also believe in the idea that some being more grand than man will ever comprehend created this writhing mass of chaos called the universe. Unfortunately, Expelled makes all the wrong moves in having its say, decrying others for being close-minded when the film itself ends up being the most shuttered and deluded of all.

MY RATING: * (out of ****)

(Released by Premise and rated "PG" for thematic material, some disturbing images and brief smoking.)