In Psycho, Norman Bates said, "A boy's best friend is his mother." Imagine my surprise at discovering the mother/son pair in My Mom's New Boyfriend almost make Norman and his "Mother" seem like upstanding citizens. This is a comedy where most of the humor comes from the kid being put into one embarrassing situation after another involving his mom. But instead of generating laughs, My Mom's New Boyfriend whips up all sorts of creepy connotations, with the level of obsession the film's leading lad has for his mommy being enough to make Oedipus uneasy.

For years, FBI agent Henry Durand (Colin Hanks) has doted on his homely, single mother Martha (Meg Ryan). When he heads out on a lengthy assignment, Henry leaves her an overweight, disheveled, chain-smoking wreck. But returning three years later, he receives the shock of his life: his mom has dropped the weight, kicked her cigarette habit, and reinvented herself as the sexy and spunky "Marty."

With her stunning new looks comes a steady stream of boyfriends, one of whom seems to offer Marty true love. A chance encounter with the mysterious and handsome Tommy (Antonio Banderas) leads to a swift courtship, making Marty the happiest she's been in ages. But Henry soon learns that his mom's new beau is an international art thief under investigation by the FBI. Complicating matters further, his mom's connection to Tommy leads to Henry heading up a task force assigned to stop the man from stealing a priceless statue.

Most of the film's troubles can be traced directly back to its boring, sitcom premise. The laughs here are virtually nonexistent, as all of the jokes get telegraphed well in advance of their arrival, and a good chunk of the gags require the characters to become  complete boneheads. There's no reason for Henry's superiors to tell him not to breathe a word about the investigation to anyone, especially since the script cheats and finds a way out anyway (not to mention eventually revealing a predictable twist that makes certain characters' actions all the more moronic). Instead of actually doing their job, one apparently of vital importance, Henry's colleagues spend their time making snarky comments about how hot Marty looks -- and right in front of her son. Perhaps I'm reading too deeply into My Mom's New Boyfriend, instead of accepting it for the breezy comedy it wants to be, but the rusty plot mechanics grind on too loudly and persistently for my taste. 

My Mom's New Boyfriend has its hands full dealing with Marty and Henry's flat-out creepy relationship. So paranoid is Henry about seeing his mom with another man and having dominance in her life, the character's personality skedaddles way past being just an uptight G-man and into ickier territory usually reserved for Jerry Springer's show. It doesn't help that Hanks doesn't seem to be having the least bit fun or that Meg Ryan delivers a painfully over-the-top turn as Marty. Not since Jamie Lee Curtis in Christmas with the Kranks have I seen such a screechy and irritating performance. Faring better are Banderas and Selma Blair, who, as Henry's fiance, has absolutely no purpose in the story except to show off how great she looks in lingere.

Will most people get a kick out of My Mom's New Boyfriend? I seriously doubt it. Despite the film's attractive star power, I believe a lot of movie fans will end up dumping this cinematic date.

MY RATING: * 1/2 (out of ****)

(Released by Sony Pictures and rated "PG-13" for sexual content, language, some violence and drug material.)