When you think about it, 2008's remake of the '80s cult slasher Prom Night is a lot like prom itself. Just as the high school occasion is seen as a dress rehearsal for adulthood, this watered-down horror flick could be viewed as something to pass the time before seeing a real slasher movie. How I wish studios would actually put some thought into their projects instead of blindly remaking whatever was a hot item a couple of decades ago! If movies like Prom Night continue to be successful, horror is on its way to becoming a pale shadow of what it once was.

Borrowing only the titular event from its predecessor, Prom Night centers on Donna Keppel (Brittany Snow), a high schooler who's led quite the traumatic life. She watched helplessly as an obsessed teacher (Johnathan Schaech) murdered her family, and even though he's well behind bars, memories of that terrible night still plague her. Three years down the road, though, Donna is determined to put the past behind her and enjoy what should be the greatest moment of her academic life: her senior prom. But while the festivities begin well enough, things take a turn for the deadly when it's discovered the psychotic teacher has escaped from prison. Donna becomes a target -- as do those unfortunate enough to get in the determined killer's way.

Prom Night is the latest in a series of scary movies  toned down to get a "PG-13" rating in order to earn cash from teeny-boppers who would've been shut out with a more harsh designation. "PG-13" horror flicks have succeeded pretty well, but in the case of Prom Night, this rating violates its very reason for being. The film's near-bloodlessness defeats the purpose of a slasher movie, which, by some unwritten cinematic law, should mean letting blood flow like the mighty Mississippi. As is, Prom Night resembles a mildly violent episode of "The Hills." In between death scenes, which are so horrendously edited you often haven't the slightest clue of how someone is being killed, we get loads of vain drama and catty characters, none of which even the most optimistic viewer probably cares about.  

Most importantly, Prom Night isn't scary. Sure, it might be good for a few "boo!" moments (they sure worked on the trio of screaming girls sitting behind me), but in terms of delivering consistent thrills or maintaining an atmosphere of pure dread, director Nelson McCormick dropped the ball. He seems to have only one scare tactic in mind, and that's the old "open door" technique (if you've seen any horror movies in your life, you know what I'm talking about), and it's repeated many times throughout the entire movie. Schaech's deranged stalker belongs to the school of slasher villains with the ability to defy the laws of physics and pop up anywhere they please without making a sound. He must be the envy of ninjas everywhere! This character comes across as little more than a walking cliche, with not a hint of menace to him. However, if there's any saving grace to Prom Night, it's McCormick's knack for serving up eye candy: as their performances suggest, Snow and co-star Dana Davis probably weren't hired for their acting skills.

Ultimately, Prom Night provides harmless slumber party fodder, nowhere close to achieving a unique level of badness. It's just another dumb horror movie, whose scariest aspect involves how many people will turn out to see it on opening weekend.

MY RATING: * 1/2 (out of ****)

(Released by Sony Pictures and rated "PG-13" for violence and terror, some sexual material, underage drinking and language.)