Imagine what a hoot it would be to inherit forty billion dollars. Mr. Deeds, an uneven comedy starring Adam Sandler, shows the ups and downs faced by a small-town guy whose rich uncle leaves him a fortune like this. During the entire movie, I couldn’t help fantasizing about what I would do with forty billion dollars. One of my first good deeds? Buying out Sandler’s contract and putting him in more movies like The Wedding Singer.

Yes, Sandler made me laugh uproariously in The Waterboy and even chuckle a bit in Little Nicky. But, in The Wedding Singer, he captivated me completely with a sweet-natured appeal not fully realized in his other movies. Was it because of a special chemistry with Drew Barrymore? Or his poignant "Love Stinks" vocal rendition? I dunno. But the whole thing worked much better than anything Sandler has done since. (Don’t even mention Big Daddy to me.)

Sandler’s Longfellow Deeds displays some of that same sweetness – but the violent streak in this character spoils almost everything. He brutally beats up a mugger, knocks out a star athlete, and punches an opera star for making fun of him. Deeds’ softer side comes out not only in the way he treats his friends but also in the poetry he writes and sends off to Hallmark, such as:

     I love you completely with all my soul.

     Without you I’m just a butterless roll.

And he can’t understand why Hallmark hasn’t responded!

Updating Frank Capra’s Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, a depression-era classic starring Gary Cooper and Jean Arthur, this Mr. Deeds keeps the "fish-out-of-water" theme while aiming more for humor than for drama. Deeds, who owns a pizzeria in the little community of Mandrake Falls, New Hampshire, is amazed by the sights of New York City when he arrives in the Big Apple to sign papers for his inheritance. While being taken advantage of by his late uncle’s associates (Peter Gallagher and Eric Avari), Deeds also falls for a woman (Winona Ryder) who’s not what she seems.

Ryder (Autumn in New York), playing an ambitious television producer who deceives Deeds, is surprisingly good here, especially in scenes where she tries to apologize for her sins. She’s so sincere, I forgave her – even if Deeds didn’t.

In the role of an unscrupulous tabloid television personality, Jared Harris (How To Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog) projects a deliciously obnoxious attitude, but his character doesn’t get the closure he deserves. Too bad. I wanted to see him suffer for the harm he caused. Fortunately, Steve Buscemi (Ghost World) and John Turturro (O Brother, Where Art Thou?) almost make up for any of Mr. Deeds’ imperfections. Although Buscemi appears in only a couple of scenes, he’s hilarious as Crazy Eyes, an eccentric who loves his pizza with weird toppings – like french fries and oreos. Turturro always mesmerizes me, so I’m not surprised at how brilliant he is as Emilio, Deeds’ Spanish valet with a foot fetish.

Because greeting-card rhymes figure prominently in Mr. Deeds, I can’t resist trying one myself. This is for Mr. Sandler:

     Be nicer next time out, my friend,

     And bring that violence to an end.

Eat your heart out, Deeds. Hallmark, here I come.

(Released by Columbia Pictures and rated "PG-13" for language including sexual references and some rear nudity.)