The original version of The Eye stood at the forefront of the Asian horror boom. It arrived just in time, right before leagues of imitators stormed the gates and made it difficult to distinguish a ripoff from a truly frightening slice of cinema. But what the new American version does to its predecessor is like slapping a Budweiser hat on the Statue of Liberty; sure, the movie's essentially the same, but everything new it brings to the table only serves to hasten its descent into sheer goofiness.

Having been blind since a child, Sydney Wells (Jessica Alba) is about to undergo a surgical procedure that will at long last restore her sight. Everything goes off without a hitch, but when she starts adjusting to seeing things, something strange starts happening to her. As Sydney takes in the world around her, there are a number of odd occurrences she can't seem to explain, from seeing phantom-like figures lurking about to encountering people who disappear on a moment's notice. Those around her, including a cynical doctor (Alessandro Nivola), think she's just going through a difficult transitional phase, but with her visions becoming more vivid and violent, Sydney decides to get to the bottom of them. Her ensuing investigation uncovers a most bizarre truth about her cornea donor.

Picture, if you would, sitting by yourself in a darkened theater. The movie you're watching seems to be fairly decent, but every five minutes, someone crashes cymbals together directly behind you before punching you in the face. Unfortunately, this is pretty much how The Eye proceeds to operate, although the story is not a bust. At least this movie remains active, whereas One Missed Call, another recent Asian horror remake, was dead in the water from the word "go." But in translating the picture for audiences on this side of the pond, The Eye directors David Moreau and Xavier Palud demonstrate a serious case of overkill. The ghosts announce their arrivals with enough ear-piercing sound cues and erratic editing to give you the impression the film's post-production was handled by  individuals all having seizures at the same time. It's one thing to catch audiences off-guard, but it's another to try and assault one's senses into submission. 

Usually, when an actor plays someone with a physical handicap, it means they're fishing for an Oscar. Alas, no little gold men are in Jessica Alba's future, as her blind girl act here lasts a grand total of two minutes. For the rest of the time, she runs around like a garden-variety scream queen with beer goggles, stumbling to and fro from blurry specter to blurry specter. The film would've been more suspenseful had she remained blind, for then it could have avoided such awkward situations as going out of its way to mention Sydney isn't yet visually acquainted with the world, then showing she knows without a doubt what smoke and shadows are right off the bat. 

At the core of The Eye is a story well worth serving as the basis for an effective horror feature, and indeed, its predecessor is such a film. Those not turned off by subtitles will find the original version of The Eye to be a freaky little treat, but those hoping for entertainment out of the remake would be better off setting their sights on something else at the multiplex.

MY RATING: * 1/2 (out of ****)

(Released by Lionsgate and rated "PG-13" for violence/terror and disturbing content.)