I hate to sound like a grizzled old curmudgeon, but having grown up with so many great flicks in the '80s, it depresses me to see today's movies for kids in such a sad state of affairs. I think the worst offender must be the Disney Channel, whose Read It and Weep is just another lifeless lump to throw on the pile with such wastes of celluloid as the Cheetah Girls movies and the puzzlingly popular High School Musical film. While packing in plenty of cuteness to spare, Read It and Weep leaves its brains at home. 

Jamie Bartlett (Kay Panabaker), an average high school freshman, is a little on the nerdy side. She escapes from a world of bossy teachers and snippy cliques by writing in a personal journal where she transforms herself into a pretty, older, and more confident alter ego named Is (Danielle Panabaker, Kay's elder sister). By pure accident, she  submits her private diary to a writing contest -- and not only does she win, her private thoughts end up being published as a book! In no time, Jamie has become a best-selling author, with the adventures of Is sweeping across the country like wildfire. However, as is the norm in stories such as this, fame starts going to Jamie's head, causing her to lose sight of what's really important and turning Is into the very symbol of everything she used to hate.

Before you start sending me e-mails with the usual "Movies like this weren't designed for you" mantra, please understand that I was a budding writer in high school only a few years ago, which should make Read It and Weep easy for me to relate to. Unfortunately, this film  isn't concerned with telling a story about the hardships of being a teen writer and dealing with overnight success, all before reaching one's sophomore year. Instead, Read It and Weep emphasizes the exact same "fame stinks" story (finding success, alienating friends, realizing the error of your ways, blah blah) we've seen more times than we can count. Its path is indeed a predictable one, but as the filmmakers don't bring an ounce of freshness to the table, all I could do was sit back and feel the movie peel 84 minutes off my life, one by one.

Read It and Weep not only adheres to a well-worn formula, it also has a tendency to treat its teenage characters like imbeciles. Maybe I attended a really complacent school, but the idea of an entire institution going bonkers for one book a student wrote -- to the point of acting out its lame sequences -- made me cringe. The film's target viewers deserve something smarter and more inspirational than this. For example, The Astronaut Farmer was fun to watch while packing a good thematic punch. Read It and Weep, on the other hand, depends too much on tired life lessons to make up for a predictable structure and quickly falls apart as a result. The Panabaker sisters, Kay and Danielle (a young actress already building up a good resume with terrific films like Sky High and Mr. Brooks under her belt), barely make it out of this disaster with their growing talents intact.

Because I'm only a lowly Internet movie critic, my bitter rantings about Read It and Weep won't make a lick of difference in persuading the Disney Channel folks to put more thought and intelligence into their movies. But I can still advise you, dear readers, to the best of my abilities. So if you're on the lookout for some smart yet fun entertainment for the whole family to enjoy, it's probably not Read It and Weep.

MY RATING: * (out of ****)

(Released by Walt Disney Video and rated "G" for no age restrictions.)