The Femmes Fatales
by
Although DOA: Dead or Alive is being released into multiplexes without the slightest bit of fanfare, it manages to entertain with a sort of superficial silliness not seen since the Charlie's Angels movies graced our theaters.
These days, more and more video games are incorporating deep, emotional storylines into their pixelated adventures. But the "DOA: Dead or Alive" fighting games are famous for one thing and one thing only: featuring very well-endowed ladies duking it out against one another. It was only a matter of time before some Hollywood executive decided to adapt its unabashed goofiness for the big screen.
Following an opening sequence that would make a James Bond movie seem positively down-to-earth, viewers are given a crash course in the "DOA" universe. DOA itself is a fighting competition, set on a remote tropical island and pitting the greatest combatants in the world against one another in a tournament where the winner receives a $10 million prize.
The story's three main contestants are ninja princess Kasumi (Devon Aoki), pro wrestler Tina (Jamie Pressly), and master thief Christie (Holly Valance). Each has their own agenda while at DOA (from Kasumi searching for her brother to Tina proving she's not a fake), but as they soon discover, something sinister is afoot on the island. DOA master of ceremonies Donovan (Eric Roberts) is plotting to steal moves from the tournament's greatest fighters, forcing our trio of heroines to set aside the rules of DOA in the name of saving the day.
In an almost lightning-fast 87 minutes, DOA: Dead or Alive serves up a cinematic combo platter of what summer movies are all about: lovely ladies, big explosions, and those same lovely ladies beating the stuffing out of one another. Granted, the flick is little more than an excuse to showcase its actresses in outfits that reveal as much as a PG-13 rating will allow, but it's the spirit of the project that ensures viewers there's a winking eye behind the production. Much like Bandidas, DOA: Dead or Alive is perfectly aware that it's silly as hell, featuring fighting sequences that don't even try to look realistic and, at one point, launching into a gratuitous volleyball match (another nod to the games) with nothing to do with the plot -- and the movie knows it.
This laid-back spirit makes DOA more enjoyable than one might expect. The film never looks upon itself with a serious attitude, thereby eliminating any pretentious attempts to insert drama into the story. Everyone's here to have a good time, and those earnest intentions result in some cool fight scenes and a slew of gorgeous actresses at their hottest points yet. Sure, DOA does turn up the occasional bummer. The actresses have the "looking good" part down pat, but most of them forgot the actual acting aspect. And a couple of subplots feel like the tired filler they are. But the worst apple of the bunch is Eric Roberts' villain, whose evil scheme inspires some huge guffaws and whose look resembles Neil Diamond on a bad day. Even for a film that thrives on being ridiculous, this part is hard to swallow.
Yes, there've been better cheesy films than DOA: Dead or Alive, but I can't fault it for trying to offer viewers fun on a simplistic level. It's easy for a movie to play a video game for you, but at least DOA isn't half-bad at doing it.
MY RATING: ** 1/2 (out of ****)
(Released by Dimension Films and rated "PG-13" for pervasive martial arts and action violence, some sexuality and nudity.)