Even the likes of such hypemasters as William Castle and P.T. Barnum might shake their heads at the way After Dark Films touted After Dark Horrorfest, its one-time-only line-up of horror flicks. For just one weekend in November of 2006, eight low-budget horror movies played in a handful of theaters, attracting genre fans and other curious moviegoers with claims of presenting a selection of films too intense for regular cinematic consumption. After viewing all these "eight films to die for," I'm compelled to report that in terms of making a mountain out of a molehill, After Dark Films created its own Everest.

For more information about the movies included in this disappointing Horrorfest, read on. 

The Abandoned.  An adopted woman (Anastasia Hille) tracks down her biological family ties to a dilapidated house in the middle of Russia, where she finds out she has a twin brother (Karel Roden). Unfortunately, the tragic event that separated them as children is about to happen again. This is a dreadfully slow and uneventful picture, one that mistakes people traipsing around in the dark for two hours as suspense. Some cool little touches are scattered throughout, but for the most part, although The Abandoned is a ghost story with great promise, it quickly devolves into a shopping list of horror cliches. RATING: * 1/2

Dark Ride.  Over a decade after his murderous rampage was stopped, a hulking killer escapes from the looney bin and returns to the scene of the crime, an abandoned amusement park ride, to terrorize a group of college kids on spring break. Another slave to the horror genre's most tired conventions, Dark Ride hurls itself onto the pile of movies in which a handful of vain, paper-thin stereotypes are stalked by a masked maniac. This film is as lazy as they come, piddling around for about an hour's worth of the running time before sending a bunch of half-developed characters we don't care about to the slaughterhouse. Dark Ride does pack in a couple of nasty-looking kills and an imposing villain, but my interest in the victims' fates was short-lived. RATING: * 1/2

The Gravedancers. Following a night of drunken dancing on some graves in a cemetery, three friends (Dominic Purcell, Marcus Thomas, and Josie Maran) come under siege by a trio of homicidal spirits, their power growing stronger as the month progresses. This movie stands out as the best of the eight Horrorfest offerings. The effects are a little iffy, and the performances a tad stale, but the weirdness of the story kept me interested in how things would turn out. The idea of three evil spirits, each with their own homicidal background, targeting those who dared to desecrate their graves had me hooked from the start. With its cool "funhouse" sort of mentality and "race against time" story, this somewhat flawed little film turned out to be an overall entertaining viewing experience.  RATING: ***

The Hamiltons. A moody youngster (Cory Knauf) attempts to adjust to life as an outcast within his own family -- all of whom are cold-blooded killers. The film begins with oodles of promise, embracing what's arguably the best story of all eight movies. But while the potential for satire is there, presenting a family of murderers trying to lead a "normal" life, directors/co-writers The Butcher Brothers barely scratch the surface of their own material. What viewers get instead is a half-successful horror/drama, with a hero who broods a lot, a brother and sister who occasionally engage in a bit of incestual activity, and an ending that serves up a poor, half-baked explanation regarding the family's true nature. Sporadically smart and much more introspective than the average horror movie, The Hamiltons is still a decent watch but best filed under "interesting failure." RATING: ** 1/2

Penny Dreadful. A young woman (Rachel Miner) with a fear of traveling in cars is put to the test when her shrink's vehicle comes under attack by a stealthy, knife-wielding psycho. Just when you thought it was safe to watch another Horrorfest title, here comes Penny Dreadful to eradicate one's faith in the line-up. Nothing really happens here; once Miner's character becomes trapped in her car by the hitchhiking killer, the movie becomes a nonstop screaming session. She mainly sits and waits for her stalker to strike rather than use her wits to get out of Dodge as quick as she can. This one is as tiresome as movies come, despite a valiant attempt by Miner to flesh out her part. RATING: * 1/2

Reincarnation. As a Japanese horror movie based upon a college professor's real-life killing spree starts filming, the star actress (Yuka) begins to see ghosts wherever she goes. This lone foreign member of the Horrorfest line-up is also one of the most derivative. Asian horror films used to be the freaky new superstars of the genre, until their popularity rose to the point that each new offering was its own equivalent of a Friday the 13th sequel. Reincarnation is no exception, as director Takashi Shimizu (best known for the Grudge series) tries departing from the tried-and-true formula he helped begin, to tell a ghost story with deeper meaning, but his results are mixed. The ending is a nice twist and the acting's not bad. But, once again, the cast is stuck going through the same motions of seeing the same ghosts occasionally pop up again and again. Reincarnation isn't an awful film, just one that seems content with being similar to countless others. RATING: **

Unrest. Following the arrival of an American woman's cadaver on her operating table, a med student (Corri English) suspects it brings a murderous force that's starting to raise the hospital's body count. Unrest is a case of style almost triumphing over substance. This film mines tons of atmospheric gold out of its setting, really bringing out the creepiness of being alone in a room with no one else around but cold, lifeless bodies. Add a subplot about a spirit who doesn't take kindly to her corpse being disrespected by rowdy med students, and you have a film littered with a bunch of eerie little moments. But Unrest also serves up a heroine who tends to talk and whine a lot instead of taking any action or giving the viewers any insight into her feelings. Still, Unrest proved to be freaky enough to raise at least a few hairs on the back of my neck while watching it. RATING: ** 1/2

Wicked Little Things. After moving her family to the mountains of Pennsylvania in the wake of her husband's death, Karen Tunny (Lori Heuring) comes to learn all about her new town's history, including info concerning a gang of zombie kids who rise each night to seek revenge for the mining accident that killed them. This film gets off to a terrific start, but it soon becomes another trophy for director J.S. Cardone, a Uwe Boll-in-training, to hang on his wall of shame. It's a potentially spooky ghost story that quickly falls apart because of a weak script. Sure, the killer kids are shrouded in mystery, but mostly because of the screenwriter's indecisiveness. Here's a movie that never seems to make up its mind whether to follow its own rules or not. By the time the film concluded, my interest and patience were long gone. RATING: * 1/2

Although After Dark Horrorfest --  now available as a DVD -- boasts "eight films to die for," a more accurate description would be "one kinda cool film and seven you can live without."

(Released by AfterDark Films and Lionsgate; not rated by MPAA.)