Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker, a kiddie spy flick with a decent budget and a bevy of familiar faces in the cast, enjoyed two months in theaters before being unceremoniously dumped onto DVD. The catch? Apparently, it's only available at Wal-Mart and Blockbuster, so I doubt this movie will earn many more fans than the miniscule number it already has.

Based upon a series of popular young adult novels, Stormbreaker centers on Alex Rider (Alex Pettyfer), a 14 year-old British kid who lives a fairly normal life. That is, until the day he finds out his absentee uncle (Ewan McGregor, in a cameo that spirits him away from the rest of the film rather quickly) has died -- and that the life he led was a lie. As it turns out, the uncle was not only one of the top agents for Britain's MI6 but also had plans for Alex. He put the lad in martial arts classes, took him on mountain climbing excursions, and had him learn foreign languages as a way of training our teeny-bopper hero so that he might join in fighting for Queen and country later on.

After some extra training to smooth out his skills, Alex is sent in to complete the mission his uncle was working on: investigating shady billionaire businessman Darrius Sayle (Mickey Rourke) and getting to the bottom of an evil plot that involves donating thousands of cutting-edge Stormbreaker computers to the country's schools. Alex will have to do some quick growing-up if he wants to save the day as he faces homicidal henchmen, deadly jellyfish plus the future of England being in his hands. 

On the bright side, Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker is a veritable Who's Who of British performers; half the fun comes from all the familiar faces that pop up over the course of the flick. You've got Ewan McGregor (for about two whole minutes, but he's in there nonetheless), Andy Serkis (Gollum himself) as a henchman named Mr. Grin (his backstory is one of the movie's more amusing moments), Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies), Stephen Fry, and Bill Nighy (recently seen as the nefarious Davy Jones in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest) as a humorless and straight-laced MI6 man named, but of course, Mr. Blunt. It's terrific seeing all these great character actors coming together (especially Fry's humorous turn as Alex's gadget supplier), and Pettyfer does a decent job standing his ground amid the sea of experienced players surrounding him, but one look at the rather bland movie they're in makes you wonder why they signed on in the first place.

Stormbreaker certainly looks good. It boasts a very slick production design that at least trumps the kinda cheap-looking Cody Banks movies from this side of the pond. Some of the chase scenes are competent and look well done, but the rest of the movie keeps you chuckling when it should be keeping your pulse pounding instead. Most of the faults here lie within the plot, especially in Sayle's scheme to cause a nationwide catastrophe. Never mind that Mickey Rourke is apparently wearing more eyeliner than a drag queen on Halloween -- it's his entire character, the shady dialogue, the very suspicious name (they might as well have called him Evil McBadguy). Also, that Big Evil Plot the British government is virtually oblivious to proves incredibly hard to swallow.

Director Geoffrey Sax (whose last movie was the yawner White Noise) fails to bring any true spark to the movie and delivers a carbon copy of a fifth-grade version of James Bond, embracing all  the obligatory set pieces but none of the style or flair. In short, Stormbreaker is for kids whose parents won't let them watch 007 movies yet.

If your preteens like those Cody Banks movies, then chances are that they'll enjoy Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker as well. But beware, parents, for just as 007 has a license to kill, Stormbreaker has a license to bore.

MY RATING: ** (out of ****)

(Released by The Weinstein Company and rated "PG" by MPAA.)