Night at the Museum boasts one of those premises that makes my inner child feel giddy as all get-out: when night falls, all of a museum's exhibits spring to life and proceed to wreak mischievous havoc. This is  the sort of movie I would've eaten up at eight years old, so I went to see it in hopes of experiencing a grand adventure that would thrust me back into my childhood. Sadly, I think the flick took a couple years off me instead, leaving me feeling even more jaded and cynical than I usually am.

Ben Stiller stars in this effects-laden holiday release as Larry Daley, a bumbling but well-meaning guy whose only goal in life is to hold down a steady job to help support his son (Jake Cherry). After a string of workforce misfires, Larry finally catches a break and lands a position as the night guard at New York City's prestigious Museum of Natural History. But what the retiring guards (played by Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney, and Bill Cobbs) neglect to tell Larry is that thanks to the magic of an ancient Egyptian tablet, the museum's usually dormant exhibits come to life.

In no time, Larry is tangling with a T-rex skeleton that wants to play fetch, trying to referee diminutive cowboys and Roman soldiers who have declared war on one another, and seeking advice from a wax statue of Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams). As Larry attempts to deal with this magical insanity, he soon discovers he must put an end to a nefarious plot that, if successful, will put his job in jeopardy as well as the future of the museum.

Those looking for a little escape from the holidays at the multiplex this year will probably get a kick out of Night at the Museum. For me, though, maybe growing up on a steady diet of Jurassic Park movies took the thunder out of the wonder of this particular film, but Night at the Museum ended up not so much evoking  a sense of amazement as it did reflecting Hollywood's tendency to throw a bunch of expensive special and visual effects onscreen, thinking that equals fun for everyone.

There's certainly a lot of action taking place here, including stuffed dummies re-enacting Civil War battles, ferocious lions stalking about, and Attila the Hun's posse pillaging everything in sight. But where a fun and memorable time at the movies would have embraced wit, wonder, and something of a childlike sense of awe, Night at the Museum has...well...Ben Stiller being slapped by a monkey.

The viewer is left with comic chaos but hardly a bit of energy driving it all. A forced sense of goofiness tries to compensate for a ho-hum plot and thin story conflict, and Ben Stiller has little to do except run around and try not to get eaten by computer-animated dinosaur skeletons. Carla Gugino is wasted even moreso as a fellow museum employee, and despite his acclaim earned from the original British version of TV's The Office, Ricky Gervais delivers an awkward performance as the museum's uptight curator.

On the plus side, Robin Williams makes an amusing Teddy Roosevelt (or, should I say, a self-aware wax facsimile that's in love with a statue of Sacajawea), Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan share a funny little rivalry as a cowpoke and a Roman general who can't get along, and the trio of golden oldie actors playing the shady security guards show they still have a little more spring in their step than one might think.

Sorry to be a Scrooge, dear reader, but as much as I was looking forward to Night at the Museum and appreciated its few bright moments, I think a trip to an actual museum would have provided me with much better entertainment.  

MY RATING: ** (out of ****)

(Released by 20th Century Fox and rated "PG" for mild action, language and brief rude humor.)