As turned-off as I was by the cornball premise and even more hackneyed advertising, I still gave Flicka an honest shot. I hoped it would turn out to be like  Dreamer, another "girl and her horse" movie I was dreading but found myself won over by its warm atmosphere and earnest storytelling. Alas, none of that came across in any of Flicka's 90-some minutes; instead, it's awash in a sea of false emotions and tells one incredibly dopey story.

Based upon the children's novel My Friend Flicka, this movie definitely changes things around from when the story was last filmed in the days of Roddy McDowall. This time, the focus is on Katy McLaughlin (Alison Lohman), a free-spirited teenager who would rather be home helping look after her family's ranch than stuck in a stuffy boarding school. But Katy's father Rob (Tim McGraw) wants her to concentrate on her studies and learn to take on a little more responsibility.

One day, Katy finds the chance to prove her worth when she comes upon a wild and particularly rebellious mustang horse (later to be named Flicka, after a Swedish word for "pretty girl"). Katy senses a connection with this rambunctious animal, seeing her own untamable personality in the creature, but once again, father Rob intervenes, declaring Flicka too out-of-control to be ridden and mulling over whether or not to sell her in order to bring some much-needed money to the ranch. Undeterred, Katy sneaks off in secret to help tame Flicka, slowly earning her trust in order to help prove to her family what a strong, determined young woman she really is.

Flicka never lets anything get in the way of conveying its Message! with a capital "M." Unfortunately, this also means that the movie completely abandons logic and reasoning in order to tug at the moviegoer's heartstrings. But who, in real life, would jump into a pen holding a wild, bucking, constantly braying horse on the notion of sharing a "connection" with the animal? Granted, reality may be the last thing one should be thinking about while immersed in the darkness of a movie theater, but you're forced to do so when the film's story ends up making all of the characters look as cliched as they do in Flicka. 

Adding to its problems, Flicka slathers on symbolic frosting like a psychotic baker, tactlessly announcing its overtones by way of such annoying elements as an orchestra score swelling up every time something dramatic takes place, wispy and ineffective narration, and scenes wearing metaphors on their sleeves. I counted not one but two overbearing "crying in the rain" shots; the studio might as well throw in title cards telling the audience when to feel sad.

I do give this movie points for delivering some beautiful cinematography and for Alison Lohman (so good in Matchstick Men and Big Fish), an actress with a young demeanor and deep, dark eyes who makes an effort to bring a sense of earnestness to her performance. But the sloppy, nearly plotless script doesn't give McGraw or Maria Bello (a much-too-talented actress stuck in a second banana, housewifely role) anything to do except spout cliches. 

The saying goes that if you had a room full of monkeys and each had a typewriter, in time they'd produce the works of William Shakespeare. Flicka seems more like something they pounded out on Day Five. 

MY RATING: * 1/2 (out of ****)

(Released by Twentieth Century Fox and rated "PG" for mild language.)