If you're planning on learning anything about Marie Antoinette's real life in Sofia Coppola's new movie Marie Antoinette, don't bet on it. However, if you want to see lavish costumes, beautiful scenery and long, long segments filled with Kirsten Dunst as Marie gorging herself on rich pastries and playing poker, then pick your seat, as there'll probably be lots of them empty in the theater.

While watching the opening hint at the opulence this movie might contain, my first thought was that the film will certainly receive some Oscar nominations. But 45 minutes into the story, I was ready to leave. Coppola not only directs, she also wrote the screenplay, based on Antonia Fraser's book. Unfortunately, this is one of the most vapid and unentertaining stories I've had the displeasure of seeing so far this year.

It's 1769 and a marriage has been arranged between Marie, the 14-year old Austrian princess and the 15-year old Parisian dauphin Louis XVI (Jason Schwartzman), grandson of Louis XV (Rip Torn). Marie arrives in Versailles a befuddled deer in the headlights. We can see on Dunst's face her annoyance at being introduced to a host of people she neither knows nor wants to know.

Once the couple is married, the movie goes through many scenes of the royal couple in bed, and the morning ritual when Marie is awakened by a throng of hopefuls who want an heir to the throne. Once they check for bloody sheets and discover none, they treat Marie as if it's her fault, but in fact Louis wants nothing to do with her.

During the 20 year period of the story, we learn that the royal family, and France in general, are broke as a revolution looms on the horizon. Coppola, however, glosses over these important facts to focus on cake, Marie's dog, more cake, partying, romping through the fields with friends, and the gossip about Louis XV's harlot of a girlfriend, Du Barry (Asia Argento).

On the plus side, the set design by Veronique Meiburg, enhanced by actual filming at Versailles, and those gorgeous costumes by Milena Canonero are tops. But in contrast, the cinematography by Lance Acord was often annoying because of his frequent use of a hand-held camera. None of the cast works; they all seem like actors playing dress up, and they don't have even a hint of an accent. Also disappointing is Coppola's choice to throw in snippets of contemporary music throughout the movie, which takes the viewer out of the story every time.

I'm not sure what Coppola's intention was with this film, but if she hoped to paint a clear picture of the haves -- those inside the castle -- and have nots -- the French people -- she's done her job.  Too bad I didn't want to spend so much time watching Kirsten Dunst act like a spoiled school girl who only wants to gorge herself on food.

(Released by Columbia Pictures and rated “PG-13” for sexual content, partial nudity and innuendo.)

Review also posted on www.reviewexpress.com.