“What movie are we seeing today, dear?” my husband asked as he changed from golf duds to film-going attire. “The Perfect Man,” I yelled through the bedroom door. “Oh, it’s the story of my life then,” he hollered back at me. How I wish he’d been right! That would’ve been much more intriguing, I’m sure, than Hilary Duff’s new movie, a plodding romantic comedy without any life or sparkle to it.

Duff’s exaggerated performance here bears no resemblance to her serious, understated work in Raise Your Voice. She plays Holly, a teenager who’s tired of moving from one town to another every time her single mom (Heather Locklear) gets dumped by a new boyfriend. To make sure her family stays put after moving to Brooklyn, Holly engages in extremely devious behavior. Rationalizing that what she’s doing is for her mother’s well-being, she finds out from her friend’s (Vanessa Lengies) uncle, portrayed by Chris Noth (TV’s Law and Order and Sex and the City)“what makes a woman happy” and starts sending flowers, love letters, and so forth to her mom -- from an unknown admirer at first, then later signing “Ben” (Noth’s name in the film) to make him appear more real.

Will the mom and Ben get together? It takes so long to find out, hardly anyone seems to care. The Perfect Man is definitely NOT Sleepless in Seattle.

Has there ever been a more obnoxious scene than the one in this film showing mother and daughter on a split screen e-mailing romantic messages to each other? Probably not, but the movie's sight of a teenager standing in front of a restaurant shaking her booty for construction workers and of a single mother publicly announcing to a bunch of strangers at a PTA meeting, “I need to find a good man,” are almost as repulsive.

Speaking of “a good man,” Duff’s Holly comes close to missing out on a blooming romance of her own with empathetic classmate Adam (Ben Feldman) because of her underhanded shenanigans. Feldman’s Adam and Noth’s Ben, both fairly normal individuals, emerge as the most likable characters in The Perfect Man. It’s easy to believe these actors in the roles they play -- but, of course, they aren’t required to exhibit ridiculous behavior like the female cast members. Locklear, very convincing as the neglectful mother in Uptown Girls, seems miscast as a woman constantly losing her men (except for a  funny overbearing colleague at the bakery where she works). And, although the multi-talented Duff shares some cute moments with Feldman, she soon becomes annoying by overplaying most scenes. Even a few of the Duffinator's most avid young fans might be disappointed with this one.

Directed by Mark Rosman (A Cinderella Story) from a screenplay by Gena Wendkos (Coyote Ugly), The Perfect Man falters because of its uneven pacing, some less than satisfactory performances and its unreasonable situations. This film also loses credibility by concluding with so many happy endings it makes your head spin. For a more realistic and entertaining treatment of an unusual “daughter-single mother” relationship, check out Anywhere But Here starring Natalie Portman and Susan Sarandon.  

(Released by Universal Pictures and rated “PG” for some mildly suggestive content.)