Comedy ought to leave viewers restless, either because it is so embarrassingly sitcom flat or, if it does what it should, we grow uneasy at our secret foibles held up to public ridicule. The tendency is to categorize national types -- ultra-dry British irony, for example, American self-chastising and slapstick, wry French whimsy -- but, as distinct from mere humor, truly good comedy is rare. Witness Après vous, the new Gallic romantic comedy from the hand of Pierre Salvadori. “Stamped with humanity [and] true deep down kindness . . . [this] feel-good movie about bonding, buddies, betrayal and ultimately true love” will offend no one.

The film's bland take on those three fashionable b-words plus love, however, does not rise above a predictable comedy-of-errors picture of self-inflicted misunderstanding. Nor do the director’s dialogue, “screenplay collaboration” by David Colombo Leotard and Marc Syrigas, or Camille Bazbaz’ Eurovision score do anything to salvage the situation as it runs its course toward what must happen. Paris may be the city of love, but for the little it figures here the setting could as easily be the dull art gallery-less Brittany village of eye-patched clueless Grand-mère Rose (Andrée Tainsy).

The plot seems harmless enough, maybe too much so. Lovelorn misfit Louis Letoux (José García) attempts suicide when Blanche Grimaldi (Sandrine Kiberlain) “dumps” him but is thwarted and brought home by Antoine (Daniel Auteuil). Smooth headwaiter at Chez Jean, the latter loves his job and attractive girlfriend Christine (Marilyne Canto), who has doubts about her man’s long-term intentions and sees the rescued third party as another wedge between them.

Blithely oblivious to her feelings and to the albatross he is hauling aboard, Good Samaritan Antoine makes the hapless Louis his personal reclamation project. For starters, he juggles an interview to get him a position at the popular brasserie, even though his new charge is clumsy, depressed and depressing, and totally ignorant of wine, haute cuisine and waitering. Secondly, snooping and bribing a policeman customer, he tracks the ex-girlfriend to her new job at a florist’s and new fourth-étage flat.

Not surprisingly, these best laid schemes go awry. The do-gooder, tongue-tied and smitten, covers by buying six-hundred francs’ worth of flowers from a postponed wedding. Flowers have meaning, it is underlined, like I’m sorry or I love you or meet me tonight, and come in handy when Antoine overlooks his and Christine’s third anniversary, but he is already gone, done for. Blanche, too -- “not a loose woman, but easy-going . . . three glasses of wine and I’m gone” -- who so fears being alone that she has immediately grabbed a new lover in André (Fabio Zenoni), whose faithlessness to her Antoine will expose, theoretically to help Louis but really for himself.

Spying occurs from balconies, ostensibly funny but at heart mean-spirited, and, catching contrite André also spying, Blanche has Antoine kiss her. He complies, and although they click in the extended clinch, they do so unaware of countryman Cyrano’s “what is a kiss?--A promise--a vow--a signature--a rosy dot over the i of Loving.”

(SPOILER ALERT)

Antoine pays uninsured and unregistered Louis’ hospital bills, then supposedly humorously diverts another patient’s morphine to him, and finds himself drifting toward Blanche -- and she to him -- while lying to protect Louis and even losing his composure at work. Brunette Christine is the only sane one, her patience wears thin over the freckled strawberry-blonde rival, and so she leaves. We would like to, as well, and the sole mild surprise is that the couples do not simply change partners. Louis finally sees through it all, as well, and arranges for true love-at-first-sight to triumph while extracting the vehicular revenge his drunkenness had earlier thwarted.

Antoine cannot be happy about what he is doing, at least while he's doing it, and constantly apologizes to everyone. But really, his “I’m sorry” ought to be directed to the audience. 

(Released by Paramount Classics and rated "R" for language.)