I predict that no one will view Joe Carnahan's Copshop as a "how to" guide for making oddball thrillers. Everything about this tone deaf production shrieks stolen or copied. Consider the opening credits. Although Clinton Shorter appears under the composer by-line, we hear the "Main Titles" from Lalo Schifrin's Magnum Force. There's no mention of the Clint Eastwood film beyond this musical reference, so why is it there? Adding to which, I enjoyed this track until it was misused in Copshop. Why the sudden change in mood? It doesn't fit the new film, and those crazy vocals -- once a harbinger of tensions related to the .44 Magnum exhibit -- are simply an effect here. Confusingly, Carnahan plays the theme over night-time shots of cars on the highway, a peculiar arrangement.

Regarding the plot, Teddy Murretto (Frank Grillo) knows too much, and people are out to get him. Pretty much the entire scenario unfolds in a bland police precinct. Yawn. Yet more tonal problems persist. Not to mention telegraphing. It's frustrating when events can be predicted ahead of time. All because the filmmakers tell us too much. Editor Kevin Hale should bear much of the blame for using dialogue as a crutch. Meanwhile, the pacing drops to boredom levels with plot mechanics hammered out in the most mundane fashion. 

Even worse, Alexis Louder comes across as extremely dull, an unlikeable personality and then some. Plagued by the most awful dialogue this side of Seinfeld, all inane details are kept intact. Hand holding like this kills movies.

Elsewhere, Gerard Butler -- one of my favourite modern action stars -- spends most of the picture chained to a prison cell. Bet he was glad to pick up the paycheck and go.

Funny at first until the same joke runs dry, Toby Huss makes a compelling five minute psycho. For the remainder, he's desperately short on inspiration and character depth. In fact, rewind the tape to the 1990s and similar personalities manifest in the likes of Wag the Dog and Living in Oblivion. The main difference being those efforts were consistently funny and inventive. 

A rainbow with all the colour drained from it, Copshop felt second hand, a lazy excuse to confine the action indoors. Such dull spaces and recycled character situations prove vexing indeed. Time to put away the toys and never look at them again.

A poem:

The message garbles

A plot loses its marbles.

Gerard Butler once so gallant

Copshop wastes his talent.

He plays someone called Viddick

Though he's no match for Vin Diesel's Riddick.

Butchered by the cut

Another punch to the gut.

The biggest flaw in Alexis Louder

This one took a powder.

What's the deal with Frank Grillo?

He's as soft as a pillow.

Place it under quarantine

Never to be let out of the machine.

A tired and insulated slop

I spy a flop.